June 7, 2017

Signs Your ‘Friends’ Aren’t Really Friends

We’ve all had friendships at some point in our lives that have ended up a bit pear-shaped, I know I definitely have. And most of the time, we end up being burned before we realise that they’re not really the friend who they claim to be.

Based on my own experiences, I’ve collated all the tell-tale signs of a fake friend. If any of them apply to your friendships, I really hope you read this and determine whether they really are your friend, or just another false prophet in sheep’s covering.

They never want to hang out

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Fact – some people are just extremely busy. But real friends will make an effort to hang out with you, because they really value your company. If you’re finding it tricky to get your friend to spend time with you, most likely they don’t value your company as much as you thought.

They always cancel plans when something ‘better’ comes along

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Or they shop around for the best plans, like when you ask them to do something but they say they’re gonna see what so-and-so are up to first, or what else is happening before letting you know. You don’t deserve to be a backup option.

They’re never happy for you

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Your friend should be one of your biggest supporters. When they get a promotion at work, of course you’re going to be happy for them, and vice versa. That’s how it works! If you feel as though your friend never has anything nice to say when you achieve something great, or they try to one up you, or they even ignore you, it’s a sign that they see you as competition, and not as a friend. Yeah, sometimes there will be a bit of friendly competition, but if they let it get in the way of your friendship… yeah. Need I say more?

You walk away from a gathering feeling bad about yourself

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If you’ve ever come away from hanging out with a friend and felt terrible about yourself, stop for a moment and ask yourself why. Friends who aren’t really your friends are infamous for slyly ripping you to shreds and bragging about themselves to try to lift themselves up. Remember that friends can gaslight you too, not just significant others.

They constantly talk about others behind their backs

Chances are, if your friend is trash-talking a mutual friend or someone you know – they’ll do the same to you. There’s a difference between venting and talking to a friend about concerns, and then there’s malicious gossip. If someone does this to you, stay away.

They disappear from your life

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Like all relationships, friendships have hiccups. But a proper friend will address the issue and talk to you about what’s happening, instead of just disappearing from your life. They’ll usually do it to someone else before they do it to you.

If it does happen, don’t be disheartened. Just remember that you don’t need a friend like that – you deserve so much better.

They often exclude you from things

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Ever scrolled through Instagram or Facebook, and had your stomach drop when you come across posts from your friends having a blast together – but without you? I mean, friends don’t have to do everything together – but if there’s an important gathering or a reason to celebrate with all your friends, and you never heard a word about it, it sucks big time. Also, this is straight-up childish and just messed up, honestly.

All images used in this post are from Giphy.

Do you need to distance yourself from ‘friends’?

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